By Emilia Barrett
After a record breaking year, Avengers hero Captain America sat down to relax, watching a few other superheroes do the job for a change. He was shocked at what he found on Amazon Prime.
“I can’t believe how it feels to be appropriated into a new Canon. Homelander is clearly me. And he is just such a jerk!” Captain America said after watching the first two episodes of The Boys. “Shooting down planes and avenging a pervert. I would never debase myself like that. I walk towards battles. Over and over again. Literally every trailer for a movie I’ve ever been in shows me walking. The last time, I carried Thor’s hammer. I ran. It was epic.”
When questioned about Translucent, Captain America expressed sympathy. “Power does corrupt, there’s no question. He probably couldn’t turn invisible without thinking about lady’s pants as a boy” he said, referencing Translucent’s demise. “That would be a hard habit to break. The person who killed him can never be invisible. Translucent’s blood is on their skin. That’s as it should be.”
Captain America is primed to watch episode three of The Boys.