Revisited: Ancient Aliens Season 3 – Episode 5


Queen Elizabeth II is about to mentally merge with the psychic alien overlords that use the rock, the crown, and the scepter to control the United Kingdom. They call this ceremony “Coronation”. BiblioArchives / LibraryArchives from Canada [CC BY 2.0 (]

So, one of the conceits of the show is that all of our ancient religion and rites stem from the influence and recreation of our ancient alien visitors. Now, let’s just set aside the ridiculousness and offensiveness that is fundamentally part of this equation and look, instead, to how they construct this wild fantasy. The hypothesis is that ancient aliens came down to earth at some point, did whatever thing they needed to do, and uplifted the people they encountered, then left. I mean, it’s wildly incoherent of the show to make this case because other episodes argue that aliens are still secretly here in undersea bases, and they even created genetic chimeras that eventually turned into humans, constructed the ancient pyramids as giant power plants, for some reason, flew around and and all sorts of other wild and occasionally entertaining claims. One this is certain, though, whatever it is or was, it was absolutely aliens. Lots and lots of ancient aliens.


The Chichin Itza staircase is for aliens. Luis Ezcurdia [CC BY-SA 3.0 (]

Chichin Itza, that most famous of Mesoamerican pyramids, for example, was not only a place of astounding religious significance, but it was a place where humans gathered to recreate the visitation and teachings of these ancient alien masters. The most plausible section, I thought, was the bit about the British Royalty recreating and connecting with aliens in their rite of coronation. It is a holy rite, after all, and full of ancient symbols of power that are mostly mysterious to us, today. For example, there’s a rock that must be stood upon – a very important rock – and it might have been part of a meteorite, once, and maybe it connects to aliens. The royal scepter, of course, seems to represent ancient alien power, connecting to the Egyptians who saw their pharaoh as a non-human god king. The crown seems to reflect the notion of a halo of light, in many cases of divinity both in African native religious communities and depictions of angels and Buddha and old stone carvings and indigenous arts and obviously, it refers to light shining from behind the alien astronauts as they emerged from their ships, right? I mean, nothing else makes sense except every culture all over the world was once visited by aliens in alien space suits with light from behind them reflecting off the glass of their space suit helmets! Well, as far as British royalty is concerned, I’m happy to describe them as representatives on earth of some ancient alien presence. They certainly sucked up a lot of wealth and resources over the centuries, as if they were funneling gold to some secret alien masters. It makes more sense that the royalty-obsessed are doing so out of some psychic connection to secret alien overlords rather than some infatuation with ridiculous power and wealth for its own sake.

Oh, and apparently we have a psychic energy that happens when we pray that somehow is used or harvested or part of how aliens control us? One researcher apparently saw some kind of mysterious “energy spike” when observing praying people in his experiment. I admit, I was pretty distracted at this point by trying to look up that weird British stone they had been talking about, but apparently when we are “praying” to God, or whatever gods or goddesses or spirit energies we prefer, we are participating in an ancient rite where we are psychically linked with our alien masters.

I said a little prayer to these secret alien masters to help me clean my kitchen, and nothing happened. I tried to borrow some money from their stash of ancient gold with my psychic telephone, and nothing happened. Then, I remembered that the most enjoyable parts of the show, this episode, was definitely the depiction of British Royalty as locked into some secret alien rites that are masked by the coronation ceremony, losing their free will and becoming one with alien masters. This sounds about right. Also, one thing I do enjoy about the show, even if it is completely framed in a ridiculous fashion, is their depiction of religious ceremonies from indigenous cultures that often don’t get featured much in the narrative of human history. The medicine man in the wicker costume dancing with the men who were wearing such beautiful headdresses was compelling imagery, and stays with me even the next day, just as an image and scene. Naturally, the show has to correct this opportunity to educate and celebrate a native community by suggesting that the feather halos of native tribes operate like psychic antennas, enhancing the ability of feather-wearing medicine men (always men, never women… Typical…) to send and receive messages to the aliens that are posing as their gods. So, that kind of spoils it.

All in all, another strange trip down the rabbithole, and I wonder what alien wonders come next!

Categories: Uncategorized

1 reply


  1. Troop Zero Disappoints Even As It Is Adorable – Vernacular Books

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: