Revisited: Ancient Aliens Episode #3

Eric: I’m not sure what’s happening to me. I’m starting to think that aliens really did come to earth and made humanity. It’s all so clear now.


Joe: What I love the most about this episode is that the wheels are off. No NASA scientists, no establishment players, just straight up Ancient Aliens Are Real True Believers doing their darndest to tell their story, and what a great story! All religions point to this weird trend of people coming from the sky to take resources and make hybrid babies. There are weird symbols on the ground all over. Mutilations of animals still happen today and investigators (who never actually appear on camera) say it seems to be a genetic harvest we cannot comprehend. So my big question for you, Eric, as a non-religious person: Does their explanation of religion feel more plausible and believable than the official one that there is or might be a God or God(s) that involve themselves in mortal affairs from their spiritual havens? Is it easier to believe that Jesus Christ is part-alien than it is for you to accept him as your personal savior?


Eric: Whoa. You’re really putting me on the spot there. It’s not one or the other. That’s where the reasoning traps you. I don’t have to say yes, it’s easier. They’re both nuts!


This episode did some interesting things, but I’m far less convinced than ever that this research–even if they are nailing the truth–proves anything. I’m reminded of an analogy of jet skiiers versus a scuba diver. In research, you want to be a scuba diver, going deep. This episode is schizophrenia with ADD jet skiing skimming back and forth over their own wakes. One minute they’re talking about crop circles, then back to Egypt, then the apocrypha and animal mutilation. My head was spinning. Wait, what’s the connection, you used the, “Some people believe the answer can be found in…” line so many times I lost track of the thread.


By the way, religion blocks my ability to communicate with God. I believe in God, but it always gets messed up when I think of it in terms of religion so I just cut out the middle-man.


Joe: Hey, now! Slow down! This is an Ancient Aliens discussion, and I know I put you on the spot, a little, but it’s definitely not time to go deep on Jesus and God. Aliens, Eric. It’s Aliens. (I’m Roman Catholic, BTW). I will answer my own question as a religious person: No. Inventing backflips of interpretations of aliens is not easier than accepting the intelligence and integrity of our ancestor’s beliefs and cultures as they pronounced them. It infantilizes early Christians and Chinese and Egyptions, etc., by declaring their faith traditions secretly Aliens! That aside, is it fun to watch the jet ski run? Oh, hell yes. I really enjoyed the Nazca lines, and actually did some research about them afterwards independently, not because I gave any credence to their explanation of alien runways and messages to flying saucers in the ancient world, but because I was actually rendered more curious about them, in general.


Eric: Oh, it is so much fun to watch the jet ski. I loved it and I was really like, I don’t know. I feel like I’m being worked on by this show. It is easy to believe in aliens just like it’s easy to believe in God. You just choose to do it and then, PRESTO! Everything about your existence and the universe makes sense.


It’s really…It’s a unique sensation akin to falling into a bucket of slime.


What did you make of the crystal skulls? How about the extent that they refute counterarguments at the end, referencing the Fermi paradox, Lagrange points, etc.?


Joe: I thought the crystal skulls were widely considered fake by reputable scientists, ergo… The concept of the crystal skull computer unlocking once we find all the crystal skulls is just awesome. I mean, it’s like a video game quest in an open world game, or ARG. Go find the skulls in the old temples scattered across the world, and pull them together to unlock the mysterious final quest to the secret masters of time and space. Also, I think we’re long past the point of trying to refute point by point each of these ridiculous assertions. That’s not what the show is about, and it’s not the kind of pleasure one can derive from this. Just trying to sit back and let this story of human history unfold, with all it’s conspiracy-theorist rhetorical questions that often lead nowhere and connections with all these disparate elements of human history is actually quite fun. It’s like enjoying the fruits of the nutty corners of the internet without polluting your browser history. Many of the speakers are clearly not your usual primetime players, and I enjoy getting to hang out with them in a safe space, where I don’t have to actually talk back or worry about feeling safe with them. I can let their narrative of history wash over me, and laugh at some of the funniest bits, and I don’t have to think if I’m about to get handed something really gross as a parting gift, like a Yeti hair collection or a special alien organ in a box.


It also, I think, does seem to be a very compelling ordered universe that is also unbelievable because it makes so much sense. Part of the wonder of science and scuba-diving in your metaphor is how murky everything is and how much effort it takes just to get tiny pieces of data up and into the light. This completely sensible organization of all human history is unbelievable because it is too easy. People are complex. The men and women who appear on this show are very complex, and I would love to see an episode slow down and really dig into one of their experts at a time. The lady who studies crop circles stood out to me as a real interesting person who had a lot of research and data to share, about a subject that is worthy of at least one hour of TV of the calibre of Ancient Aliens, and I wish we got to spend an hour just going over one small step at a time. I want to scuba dive with the people who believe this stuff, and really get a stronger sense of the complexity of their argument. I don’t want to just zoom right over them barely stopping for air and a commercial break.


Eric: I second that. I wonder what’s up in episode 4?

Joe: I don’t know, but I bet it’s aliens…


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  1. Revisited: Ancient Aliens Episode #4 – Vernacular Books

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